Sometimes you just need a fun (and made up) reason to call out of work! What better way to do it than with Dungeons and Dragons?
That’s why we’ve created this list of 56 DnD inspired ways to call out of work.
56 DnD inspired ways to call out of work
1. Level of Exhaustion – I accumulated one level of Exhaustion after last night’s adventure (read: toddler’s birthday party <insert your own>). Need a long rest to recover.
2. Failed Saving Throw – Apparently I failed my Constitution saving throw against the flu (or maybe a Contagion spell). I’m quarantining to avoid a TPK (Total Party Kill) at the office.
3. Critical Commute Hit – My arch-nemesis (aka morning traffic) scored a critical hit on my schedule. I’ll be working from home to regroup.
4. Cursed Laptop – Opened a suspicious email and it literally cursed my laptop. IT (the temple priests) are performing an exorcism on it now.
5. Motivation Check – My conscience failed its morale check, so I’m taking a day off to rally my inner troops. (Motivation is low; caffeine is needed.)
6. Silenced Alarm – My alarm clock failed its Wisdom saving throw against a Silence spell – it never rang. Still trying to break the enchantment.
7. Sleeping Spell – A wizard cast Sleep on me and I failed my saving throw. I’ll come in after I successfully roll a wake-up save.
8. Turned to Stone – Turned to stone by a basilisk this morning – I’m literally petrified and can’t come to work.
9. Invisibility Issues – Accidentally turned invisible, and security won’t let an unseen entity into the building. Waiting for Dispel Magic to kick in.
10. Teleportation Mishap – Tried to Teleport to work to beat traffic, but I ended up in another dimension. Portal home is pending.
11. Banished Elsewhere – Got Banished by a cranky sorcerer. I’ll be back as soon as the spell wears off (should be by lunchtime).
12. No Spell Slots Left – Used up all my spell slots doing morning chores. I have to take a short rest (coffee break) to prep for any work tasks.
13. Plumbing Side Quest – I’ve got to handle a side quest at home today – the kind that involves a plunger and a Create Water overflow. (Yes, it’s a plumbing issue of truly epic proportions.)
14. Key-Eating Mimic – A mimic disguised as my front door ate my keys and my lunch. Waiting on an adventuring party (locksmith) to retrieve them.
15. Familiar Fiasco – My familiar (cat) hid my glasses as part of its rogue training. I can’t drive without failing my perception checks.
16. Coffee Polymorph – I drank what I thought was coffee but it turned out to be a Polymorph potion. I’m currently a ferret; typing is hard.
17. Chore Geas – A hag’s Geas compelled me to clean the entire house top to bottom. Until I comply, I physically can’t focus on anything else.
18. Arrow to the Knee – I took an arrow to the knee last night — former adventurers like me can’t walk that off till at least tomorrow.
19. Sphinx Stop – Ran into a sphinx on my morning route. I can’t come in until I answer its riddle (and it’s a tough one).
20. Medusa Rideshare – Medusa was my rideshare driver today. One look and, well… I’m stoned until further notice.
21. Bardic Insomnia – The local tavern had a bard performing all night beneath my apartment. I failed my Constitution save vs. sleeplessness.
22. Laughing Curse – A cursed artifact in my living room gave me a bad case of Tasha’s Hideous Laughter. I can’t keep a straight face in meetings, so I’m out.
23. Displacer Beast Loose – My pet displacer beast got out, and I’m the only one who can find where the darn thing went (it’s hard to catch an invisible cat!).
24. Wild Shape Whoops – I wild-shaped into a sloth last night in my sleep. Still waiting for this Wild Shape to wear off so I can move at normal speed.
25. Goodberry Gluttony – My druid friend overdid a Goodberry spell at dinner and now my stomach thinks it ate a whole feast. Taking a recovery day from that banquet.
26. Pothole Mimic – Hit a pothole this morning that must have been a Mimic in disguise. It swallowed my tire! Waiting for a new tire to magically appear.
27. Over-Slept Wish – A genie granted my wish for more sleep… by literally putting me back to bed. Bound by wish law here until the nap is complete.
28. Zone of Truth – Someone cast Zone of Truth at home, so I have to be honest: I’m not really sick, I’m just on a quest for bagels this morning.
29. Poisoned (By Dinner) – I’m suffering from the Poisoned condition after sampling my own cooking last night. I need a day for the antidote (Pepto) to work.
30. Kobold Prank – A clan of kobolds built a trap in my driveway as a prank. Now my car’s in a pit, and I’m negotiating its release.
31. Navigation Nat 1 – I started to come in but then I rolled a natural 1 on my navigation check and ended up at the beach. Oops.
32. HR Hold Person – HR cast Hold Person on me for trying to call out one too many times. Ironically, now I really can’t come in until it wears off.
33. Slow-Mo Commute – Hit by a Slow spell while leaving my building; everything is in extreme slow motion. At this rate, I’ll arrive by next week.
34. Pseudodragon Problems – I adopted a new pseudodragon and it’s breathing tiny flames everywhere. Need to fireproof the house before I can step away.
35. Demonic Printer – I suspect our office printer is a demon in disguise. I’m gathering holy water and will come in once the rite of purification is done.
36. Calendar Confusion – A glitch in the Matrix—er, I mean an Illusory Script in my calendar—told me today was Sunday. I’m recalibrating my schedule now.
37. Foggy Commute – That “mysterious fog” on the highway this morning? Yeah, turns out it was a Fog Cloud spell. Visibility is zero and I’m not high enough level to cast Gust of Wind.
38. Unicorn Roadblock – There’s a unicorn at my front door that only allows passage to the pure of heart. I’m taking some time for self-reflection… and looking for an alternate route.
39. Steed Breakdown – My trusty steed (okay, my car) threw a shoe… I mean, a tire. Waiting on the blacksmith (mechanic) to finish the repairs.
40. Wi-Fi Gremlins – A coven of Wi-Fi gremlins took down my internet, and the only IT druid who speaks their language won’t be here until afternoon.
41. Owlbear Crossing – An owlbear family is crossing the road near my house and they’re very territorial. I’m waiting for them to migrate before I attempt passage.
42. Astral Conference – I’m attending a virtual conference in the Astral Plane today. The time zone difference is wild, so I won’t be reachable during work hours.
43. Lost Die of Decision – One of my dice of fate rolled off the table this morning, and until I find where it landed, I can’t make any decisions. (It’s probably under the fridge – a.k.a. the mini-Demogorgon lair.)
44. Post-Campaign Fatigue – After last night’s D&D session, I woke up with actual Battle Fatigue (and a foam sword stuck to my back). I need a day to reattach my sense of reality.
45. Sneezing Spell – Due to a wild magic surge, every time I sneeze, I cast Grease on the floor. It’s a liability at work, so I’m staying put until this clears up.
46. Otherworldly Overtime – I’m under contract with a warlock’s patron for the next 8 hours. Fine print, you know how it is. I’ll resume my mortal job once my shift in the nether realm ends.
47. Mimic Coffee Machine – The coffee machine at work was revealed to be a mimic and tried to eat my mug yesterday. I sustained emotional damage and I’m not ready to face it again just yet.
48. Existential Simulacrum – Just realized I’m actually a simulacrum and the spell is wearing off. I’ve got an existential crisis to sort out today — my apologies for the short notice.
49. Barbarian Alarm Rage – Went into a full Barbarian rage when my alarm clock went off, and now both the clock and my morning are in pieces. I need today to gather my scattered hit points (and buy a new alarm).
50. Mind Flayer Memory Loss – A mind flayer ambushed me during breakfast and ate the part of my brain that remembers my computer passwords. Waiting for the cleric from IT to perform a Greater Restoration.
51. Beholder Block – On the way out, I walked into a beholder’s anti-magic field; now my car won’t start and my smartphone is basically a paperweight. I’ll head in once I’m out of its range and my tech magically starts working again.
52. Cursed Charisma – My Charisma stat got cursed down to 3 this morning. I’m as charming as a troll right now, which is bad for client meetings – better I stay home until I can get this curse lifted.
53. Alignment Malfunction – Woke up with a drastic alignment shift to Chaotic Evil after a cursed dream. Doing everyone a favor by staying home until my moral compass is back on its usual setting (promise I won’t start any world domination plots in the meantime).
54. Lost Initiative – I lost initiative to my bed today – rolled a natural 1 on my wake-up check. By the time I recovered, the battle of the morning commute was already lost. Consider this a tactical retreat; I’ll rejoin the campaign tomorrow.
55. Entangled Commute – An overzealous druid hit my front yard with an Entangle spell. My car (and I) are now literally tied up in vines. I’ll head in after I negotiate my release (and promise to switch to a reusable coffee mug).
56. Wish Granted – Finally, my Wish spell for an extra day off succeeded… and according to cosmic law, who am I to refuse a granted wish?
Which of these 56 DnD inspired ways to call out of work will you be using? Let us know in the comments!
READ MORE: Is Dungeons and Dragons dangerous? You asked, we answered
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